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Master Gardener, Horticulurist, Arborist Read full profile. One of the most dangerous sentiments out there is the concept of unconditional love. Everything in fiction depends on it. The wedding industry thrives upon it. True, unconditional love is the thing to which all people are supposed to aspire.
The very idea of dismissing unconditional love probably makes your skin crawl. To be fair, most of the people who would dismiss this kind of idea are pretty cynical. The thing that is problematic, though, is the idea that love should somehow be without conditions. You can love someone truly, or you can not love someone.
There are things that would make even the most romantic person fall out of love with another person. Imagine the most horrifying thing you can imagine, and then imagine your loved one did that. Could you still look them in the face? Could you still love them? If you did, what kind of monster would you be? We see the problems with so-called unconditional love whenever we see relationships with a power differential. How many relationships have you seen in which one person mistreats the other, yet the weaker partner will forgive anything?
You think of that person as weak, as deluded, as ultimately unable to do the right thing. Yet somehow, in theory, you might still believe that unconditional love is a good thing. It makes it far more honest. When you say you love someone, you are saying that you love who they represent themselves as. You love all the things that come together to make them a person. If you move away from it, you realize that you can begin to reasonably put expectations on how another person treats you and acts.
You want real love, the kind that is able to last. You want to be able to experience love as a positive force rather than one that is limiting. If you except that fact that love is conditional you can also begin to accept the fact that love is a verb. Love is something you do, not something that just happens. When you start to believe this, you start to believe that you will actually have to work for the love of someone else. You will suddenly become a better partner because you realize that the other person in your relationship actually deserves some effort.
Should love be thrown away at the drop of a hat? You should not, however, trap yourself just because you think love has to be eternal. This gives you the freedom to love people but to still expect effort from them.
It helps you from being trapped by tradition and allows you the chance to be a better person. The more you realize that love is conditional, the more you will be able to see how conditional love is the best thing that could happen to you. Simon is an entrepreneur who blogs about lifestyle. Read full profile. Dreams — Mysterious, bewildering, eye-opening and sometimes a nightmarish living hell. Dreams are all that and much more.
Here are 20 amazing facts about dreams that you might have never heard about:. If you are unsure whether you are dreaming or not, try reading something.
The vast majority of people are incapable of reading in their dreams. There is a whole subculture of people practicing what is called lucid or conscious dreaming. Using various techniques, these people have supposedly learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying, passing through walls, and traveling to different dimensions or even back in time.
Want to learn how to control your dreams? You can try these tips: Advertising. There are some astounding cases where people actually dreamt about things which happened to them later, in the exact same ways they dreamed about. You could say they got a glimpse of the future, or it might have just been coincidence.
The fact remains that this is some seriously interesting and bizarre phenomena. Some of the most famous premonition dreams include:. Hell is real and it is called sleep paralysis. Two characteristics of sleep paralysis are the inability to move hence paralysis and a sense of an extremely evil presence in the room with you. Studies show that during an attack, sleep paralysis sufferers show an overwhelming amygdala activity. Enough said!
In the state of REM rapid-eye-movement stage of your sleep your body is normally paralyzed.
In rare cases, however, people act out their dreams. These have resulted in broken arms, legs, broken furniture, and in at least one reported case, a house burnt down. Actually, studies indicate that men get up to 20 erections per dream. Sleepwalking is a very rare and potentially dangerous sleep disorder. Lee Hadwin is a nurse by profession, but in his dreams he is an artist.
There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much that they never want to wake up. They want to continue on dreaming even during the day, so they take an illegal and extremely potent hallucinogenic drug called Dimethyltryptamine. It is actually only an isolated and synthetic form of the chemical our brains produce naturally during dreaming. The dream-catcher is one of the most well-known Native American symbols. It is a loose web or webs woven around a hoop and decorated with sacred objects meant to protect against nightmares.
You would associate sleeping with peace and quiet, but actually our brains are more active during sleep than during the day. As we mentioned before, dreams are responsible for inventions, great artworks and are generally just incredibly interesting. Scientists also say that keeping a dream diary helps with creativity. These people suffer from ificantly decreased creativity and perform badly at tasks requiring creative problem solving.
Our animal companions dream as well. Watch a dog or a cat sleep and you can see that they are moving their paws and making noises like they were chasing something.
They still dream, and their dreams are just as intense and interesting, but they involve the other senses beside sight. It is proven that in dreams, we can only see faces that we have seen in real life before. So beware: that scary-looking old lady next to you on the bus might as well be in your next nightmare. Surprisingly, dreams are more often negative than positive. The three most widely reported emotions felt during dreaming are anger, sadness and fear. You can have up to seven different dreams per night depending on how many REM cycles you have.
We only dream during the REM period of sleep, and the average person dreams one to two hours every night. Both women and men dream about sexual themes equally often. Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash. Psychology Advertising. Share Pin it Tweet Share. Read Next. Simon Andras Simon is an entrepreneur who blogs about lifestyle. Garden Plants Nursery: Unconditional Love.Is there a such thing as love
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There’s No Such Thing as Unconditional Love. You Either Love Someone or You Don’t